Perkatory
Serenity in the Big Ditch
Adversity creates a yearning for serenity. With struggle a calm moment is desired, and the appreciation for when it occurs is significant. I first found whitewater learning to kayak in Glacier National Park with First Descents. Anxiety was a real concern I had with anything done around that time.
Read More...Prescription of Nature
I’m tired. Like to-the-bone weary, at a point where I switch into autopilot mode and float, not present in the moment, or really in the past or future, just tired. So, let’s talk about how I got here. It’s a mix of a glorious adventure in nature and sterile walls and fluorescent lights all in the matter of a week.
Read More...The Overlook
Everything is so green. That’s what I remember thinking on the ride back to my apartment after my hospital stay. Being someone who enjoys spending time outside, two weeks of being stuck inside four white hospital room walls with a window overlooking a city street was pretty much torture, especially after a leukemia diagnosis.
Read More...What Do the Holidays Mean to Me Now?
If I had custom ornaments made to commemorate my last three Christmases they would read: Christmas 2018 — “The one where I had cancer.” Christmas 2019 — “The one where I had cancer… again.”
Read More...Musings on a Cancery Christmas
December 21, 2018. Winter solstice. It was the darkest day of the year, and also turned out to be one of the darkest days of my life. The day I was told I had breast cancer. I received the news over the phone from a doctor I barely knew.
Read More...Me Then You
9/6/80. How many times have you been asked for your date of birth, like it’s a code to another level, a password at a locked door? Doctors, nurses, surgeons, pharmacists need this information before they can do their job, which is to take care of you.
Read More...Cancer and Weight
I struggled with body image my entire life. My ‘goal’ figure undoubtedly came from cultural standards, growing up during heroin chic’s heyday in the ‘90s. That goal was similarly praised by my white, middle class family, even if that enforcement went mostly unacknowledged by them.
Read More...Tiger Trials
Our knowledge about what breast cancer is, how it works, and treatments for it have come a long way from the first documented cases in 3000BC. At that time there was essentially no understanding about cancer, particularly metastatic types, and the mortality rate for Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC) sat solidly at 100% for many years.
Read More...The Power of the Community
My community of support has been a major factor within my breast cancer journey and has gotten me through many years. From the moment that I was diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer, over 22 years ago, to my first diagnosis with metastatic breast cancer just a couple years later, I have always had an army of support right there with me to help me throughout this journey.
Read More...Calling All White Allies to Find Their “Something”
Two weeks after my college graduation, I was thrilled to land a job working in cancer research at a prestigious cancer center in Cleveland. I was especially excited to be working to provide better access to clinical trials for blood cancer patients since a dear friend of mine is a childhood leukemia survivor. Little did I know as a young and healthy 22-year-old, that the same friend would be shuttling me to and from appointments at the same cancer center after my own cancer diagnosis.
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