Hodgkin’s lymphoma
Supported and Surrounded
I sat on the crisp white sheets of my friend’s bed, scrolling through my phone. Suddenly, my face felt wet and my hand pulled away from my nose, covered in blood. I sprung from the bed so as not to sully the new sheets, dashed to the sink and stuffed paper towel after paper towel in my nose.
Read More...Stop Telling Me Everything Happens for a Reason
“Everything happens for a reason,” the well-meaning cashier tells me. Before October, I would have believed her. I thought that tragedy was all part of God’s bigger picture, and that we were all just pawns in the game of life, and bad events just give someone a stronger testimony.
Read More...“Why Didn’t You Ask for Help?”
“Why didn’t you ask for help?” Moving Beyond Shame and Into Community. This question was asked by a relative as we were packing my family’s apartment in preparation for moving into our new home, and I have been thinking about it since.
Read More...The Gift
In many instances, we either tell ourselves or so desperately want to believe everything happens for a reason. We usually associate that phrase when experiencing something negative or dreadful. The most common question we ask ourselves is “Why?”
Read More...We’re All a Little Lost
It’s the holiday season, and Santa Claus is coming ‘round… so begin the lyrics to a very cheerful Christmas song, about Santa helping us celebrate the holidays. But sitting here, in a borrowed house because my family is quarantined due to breakthrough COVID and I can’t be with them, with sunlight streaming through the window onto the artificial hyacinth, I’m feeling anything but cheer.
Read More...Mindfulness Takes Center Stage
It’s raining right now, and you’d think this would be the perfect atmosphere to write this piece. I have soft, relaxing music playing, and I can hear the pitter patter of the rain outside. Despite all this, I find writing this to be extremely difficult. I’m not used to reading my own work aloud, and the idea of doing so makes me second guess each sentence I type out.
Read More...On Cancer and Self-Reflection
When I was first diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma, one of the more common messages I received was that I would gain a new perspective or a new sense of meaning from having such a jarring experience.
Read More...Triggered
I recently started dating the most incredible guy ever. From meeting me through friends several months ago, he knew I had cancer. Once we started dating, I tried to push him away by dumping all the cancer stuff, but he blessedly stayed.
Read More...Dear Cancer, I’ll Hold On
There must be something the universe has in store for me, something I can still do, something I can still contribute, something I can still feel.
Read More...Dear Cancer, You Couldn’t Break Me
Never in a million years did I think I would be writing to you at only 23 years old. You are some people’s worst fear but you weren’t mine. I never even thought to put you on my list.
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