Hodgkin’s lymphoma

Who He Was

by Jillian Locke October 2, 2022

There is a drawing of a small bird that is nestled in my dresser drawer amongst my most treasured memories. I take it out occasionally, sometimes on a particular date and sometimes when a memory whispers for my attention. I never know when the thoughts will come, and years ago, I thought they would eventually fade away; but survivor’s guilt doesn’t choose to be graceful and exit quietly to stage left.

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Give Yourself Some Credit: Body Image and Self Esteem 

by Rachel Mihalko September 27, 2022

“I am enough.”
“I will live in the present moment.”
“I love the life I am creating.”
“I am in control of my own narrative.”
“I am strong, and that strength isn’t going anywhere.” 

These are all things that I wish I could tell myself on a regular basis—and believe them too. I know the importance of reciting affirmations, and I know it takes time to start believing them. But they still feel ridiculous sometimes.

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A Season of Healing

by Rachel Vinciguerra August 16, 2022

They said it would get harder as I go, and it’s getting harder.

The side effects from my sixth chemo treatment were the worst I’ve had so far. The fatigue over the weekend was intense and left me feeling too weak to move. Talking and breathing were a big effort.

Instead of going away and leaving me with some light nausea into the week, the fatigue lightened but hasn’t lifted. It’s really hard to effectively explain the feeling of being so weak.

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Supported and Surrounded

by Jennifer Anand April 12, 2022

I sat on the crisp white sheets of my friend’s bed, scrolling through my phone. Suddenly, my face felt wet and my hand pulled away from my nose, covered in blood. I sprung from the bed so as not to sully the new sheets, dashed to the sink and stuffed paper towel after paper towel in my nose.

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Stop Telling Me Everything Happens for a Reason

by Mara Thrasher March 29, 2022

“Everything happens for a reason,” the well-meaning cashier tells me. Before October, I would have believed her. I thought that tragedy was all part of God’s bigger picture, and that we were all just pawns in the game of life, and bad events just give someone a stronger testimony.

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“Why Didn’t You Ask for Help?”

by Hailey Johnston March 8, 2022

“Why didn’t you ask for help?” Moving Beyond Shame and Into Community. This question was asked by a relative as we were packing my family’s apartment in preparation for moving into our new home, and I have been thinking about it since.

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The Gift

by Christine Ontiveros February 28, 2022

In many instances, we either tell ourselves or so desperately want to believe everything happens for a reason. We usually associate that phrase when experiencing something negative or dreadful. The most common question we ask ourselves is “Why?”

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We’re All a Little Lost

by Jennifer Anand January 6, 2022

It’s the holiday season, and Santa Claus is coming ‘round… so begin the lyrics to a very cheerful Christmas song, about Santa helping us celebrate the holidays. But sitting here, in a borrowed house because my family is quarantined due to breakthrough COVID and I can’t be with them, with sunlight streaming through the window onto the artificial hyacinth, I’m feeling anything but cheer.

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Mindfulness Takes Center Stage

by Rachel Mihalko September 21, 2021

It’s raining right now, and you’d think this would be the perfect atmosphere to write this piece. I have soft, relaxing music playing, and I can hear the pitter patter of the rain outside. Despite all this, I find writing this to be extremely difficult. I’m not used to reading my own work aloud, and the idea of doing so makes me second guess each sentence I type out.

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On Cancer and Self-Reflection

by Neal Reddy September 7, 2021

When I was first diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma, one of the more common messages I received was that I would gain a new perspective or a new sense of meaning from having such a jarring experience.

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