Cancer

The Only Way out is Through

I was 20 years old and in college when the terrorist attacks of 9/11 took place. I remember watching an interview in the months following in which a survivor from one of the twin towers talked openly about how guilty she felt for surviving. And I didn’t understand.

Dear Younger Self, You’ll Come out on Top

Dear Young[er] Sam,
I want you to remember that you’re a heartfelt and passionate woman. When things get hard, taking a deep breath really does help. Sometimes you just need five minutes away from the situation to get a handle on it. Also, remember to grieve.

Conservation of Matter

Oh to have a body
Messy, beautiful
Fluid and dust and stars sewn up
In the breakable harmony of our organisms

What Matters Most in Life

Dear Brandi, 
When it comes to making an impression, the old adage “first impressions last” definitely applies. From the moment you were born, you were destined to be a fighter.

Scrambled Eggs

Getting out of bed has been so difficult lately. It’s been months since I’ve had a good night’s sleep. It seems like no matter how many blankets I use or how many layers I wear at night, I’m always freezing. Last night I woke up twice in a cold sweat.

My Cancer Rider

My Cancer Rider. And no I’m not referring to an insurance policy add-on. I’m talking about the type of thing celebrities have. You know, only green M&Ms in the candy dish or black toilet paper ready and waiting in the bathroom. Okay, maybe not that extreme, but you get my point.

Things I’d Want You to Know

Dear Younger Self,

Things I’d want to know: you will have a son then a daughter. Both will have your luscious, loose brown curls and wide eyes wrapped in blankets of long, black lashes. Sometimes you will look at them and think “I would, literally, withstand anything for you.” And you will.

Surveillance is Not Enough

I wouldn’t be able to tell you the last time I cried, but I remember doing so on June 12, 2013. Tears of relief, awe, and slight trepidation. After six months of chemotherapy and five years of six-month surveillance check-ins, I left my treating oncologist’s office for the last time.

Love and a Higher Power

Content/Trigger Warning: Sexual Harassment. Does a higher power exist? I believe so and always have. Although, throughout my life, I have had a hard time connecting with it.

A Second Chance

Never in my life did I think I would be here today writing about being a two-time cancer survivor at 28 years old. My name is Gena Bradshaw, and I was diagnosed with leukemia at age three and a half and thyroid cancer at age twenty.