Cancer

Choose Your Own Adventure

In 2011, I didn’t get to choose my path. Cancer chose for me. The diagnosis meant 14 months of being told to see doctors, have tests and surgeries, and undergo a course of immunotherapy. The doctors said it was all necessary to survive, and I did it all.

At the end of those 14 months, I felt lost.

Living at a Crossroads: Juggling Caregiving and College

Just a few weeks after dropping me off for my first semester of college in 2014, my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney cancer. Suddenly I had two lives. One where I was home taking care of him and trying to support my mom. The other was at college, where I juggled the guilt of not being present at school with the shame of not being there for my family.

Lessons Learned with Lisa: Self Care

You are not alone if . . .

No one prepared you for how difficult survivorship would be
Cancer crosses your mind every single day, even years out of treatment
There are things, places, smells, and phrases that immediately trigger your anxiety
You are still figuring out how to incorporate self-care into your daily routine

There’s A Safe Space For You Here

I remember the sounds of the door squeaking at my very first oncology appointment. I remember the smell of a cleaning agent that was too strong and the undeniable odor of rubbing alcohol and hand sanitizer. I remember the snap of rubber gloves being squeezed on hands. The loud crinkle of the paper I scooted back onto. 

How Cancer Changed My Perception of Masculinity

In a small white room outside of Rome, Italy, with nothing on the walls but a haunting crucifix, I was told: “Hai la leukemia linfoblastica acuta.” You have acute lymphoblastic leukemia.

Alone in a foreign country, I immediately sensed how helpless I was. I needed to get home, and fast. I needed my friend to immediately scratch all her plans and take the train with me from Rome to Milan to grab my essential belongings.

Caring for My Dad as a Nurse Practitioner

I have taken care of so many people throughout the years and cared about each of them in some way. Many made their way into my heart, some in unexpected ways. It all changed me. It used to make me sad and drain me and leave me without energy for myself and my family.

The Interlude of Cancer

Breast cancer is unexpected.

Breast cancer is life-changing.

You cannot prepare yourself for what a cancer diagnosis will feel like and what cancer treatment will be like. You may have stood by the side of a family member or a friend as they navigated their own breast cancer journey. You may have participated in fundraising efforts and walked in a sea of women awash with pink to support breast cancer awareness and research efforts.

I Am Not a Bridge

“You need to do something about this.”

My sister said to me in the midst of her cervical cancer chaos. This is when I learned that whole buildings on hospital campuses were devoted to caring for people with a cancer diagnosis. Frankly, I was a cancer muggle. My transition from cancer muggle to cancer caregiver was an abrupt unplanned crash course. Let me acknowledge that everything with cancer is abrupt and unplanned.

Roe v. Wade: A Call to Stand with Our Herd

By now many of you are aware of the overturning of Roe v. Wade, and the amount of backlash from the cancer community.

The Steven G. Cancer Foundation and Elephants and Tea initially took to social media asking people to listen to the stories of those individuals impacted by Roe v. Wade.

Was that enough? No. Can we do more? Definitely.

My Work as a Death Doula

“Well, the results aren’t what we were hoping…” my doctor said, closing the door behind her. “But the good news is this usually responds really well to treatment, and you won’t have to do chemo.”

We talked for a while longer, and then she offered up, “I mean, I’ve seen people with thyroid cancer all over their body live another 20 years.”

I think it was meant to be soothing, but I couldn’t help but feel like it wasn’t quite relevant to me. Not to mention, it contradicted her speculation just moments ago that my chance of recurrence after surgery would be very low.