This letter is written to my sweet baby boy
Or would you have been a girl?
Honestly it doesn’t matter, I would have loved you either way
I would have loved every inch of you
From the top of your curly brown hair
Down to the bottom of your little brown feet
And my love would have grown to depths I can’t even fathom with each passing day
With every beautiful smile
With every hearty laugh
And with every milestone you’d make
But to tell the truth, I love you now
Even though we cannot be together physically, I carry you in my heart every day
Everywhere I go you’re with me
I hope I make you proud
It pains me that I’ll never get to meet you
I’ll never get to touch you
Or hold you in my arms
I’ll never get to memorize every beauty mark
Or know your favorite color
I can only fantasize these little details about you
Before the door closed on our future together, I dreamt about the day I’d get to walk you to school
And how nervous I’d be to have you out of my sight for longer than an hour
I wanted the chance to be every bit how your grandma was with me when I was your age
That was my hope
That was my dream
But that’s all it’ll ever get to be… a dream
Just know your mama tried to make you a reality
Not just a figment of my imagination
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Your babies are with you, forever and always. Sending you virtual hugs!
So candid. Very raw. Brave brave brave to share. Beautiful.