Survivorship

Dear Cancer, You are the Great Paradox

Dear Cancer,

You have changed me in more ways than I can count.

First, there was the big change, the news of your existence falling from the sky, scorching the earth of my body, and breaking apart my safe little world. When you arrived, you changed so much.

Dear Cancer, I am Still the Author of my Own Story

I am learning that while I may not be in control, I am still the author of my own story

You, cancer, are lurking in the shadows,
Waiting for a moment to appear again
in the tender skin on my clavicle.

Dear Cancer, I Would Not Wish You on Anyone

Dear Bladder Cancer,

I have so many mixed feelings about you. I didn’t even know bladder cancer was a thing until the moment I was diagnosed with it. I am angry that you are so common, but no one is talking about you.

Dear Cancer, You Were Never Fully in Charge

Dear Cancer,

You are already a power hog, a bully, so I try to ignore you believing that negative behavior is just desperate for attention. Perhaps if I don’t give it to you, you will go away.

Dear Cancer, Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining

Dear Cancer,

In November 2021, I was diagnosed with you after five weeks of hospital appointments, scans, and blood tests. I was 28 years old. I am 29 years old now and eight cycles into chemotherapy, with four more to go before the next progress scan.

Dear Cancer, You Have Awakened Me

Dear Cancer,

You showed up when I least expected it. I suppose that’s how it always goes. I remember the air being sucked from my lungs for a brief minute, then, awkwardly, my mind went still, and I just stared out the window.

Dear Cancer, Thank You for Helping Me Find Myself

Dear Breast Cancer,

Thank you.

Thank you for helping me find myself.
Thank you for releasing toxicity in my life.
Thank you for restoring my smile.
Thank you for forcing me to set boundaries.

Dear Cancer, I Never Expected You

Dear Cancer,

Before meeting you, I was so distracted. I lived such an unintentional life, carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I didn’t know how to forgive. I was consumed with bitterness and annoyance at everything in me and around me.

Dear Cancer, You Inflict Pain

Dear Cancer,

I am writing to express my anger regarding the pain you have caused. You have taken many things from my life that I will never be able to get back. 

My grievances began in 1993 at the age of five when you first arrived.

Dear Cancer, You Failed

Dear Stage 2 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma,

We met in 2020 during a pandemic. So, I guess you wanted to be memorable. I am not sure what else your agenda was, but If it was to defeat me, I am sorry that you failed at that mission.