Survivorship

Bird Mobiles

Fuchsia, yellow, turquoise and purple; sad birds on tired wires spin above me in a desperate ballet

Their soft feathery texture, here to warmly greet me in contrast to the cold hard table where I lay

A presence meant to calm and soothe, forget the void of living without the sound of children’s laughter

Eyes of an Advocate

We all know that 2020 was quite the year for all of us. The global pandemic shut everything down. Life as we knew it completely changed.

Imagine you’re a young adult, working, just trying to survive, hustling, and grinding away….and then finding out you have cancer.

I was 31. I was working a retail position and getting ready to move into my first apartment, had a date set and everything… 

Let me take you back…

Dear Cancer, For the Love of Food

Dear Cancer, 

You have taken away my love for food but only temporarily! I am a self-proclaimed super-taster and foodie, and what you have taken from me, especially on the days after chemo, is indescribable and insufferable. Instead of thinking about the joy that food brings, I wake up agonizing over what I can eat without throwing up or feeling nauseous.

Loving My Sick Body

My disease was of the blood, and although it could not be seen, it left traces on my skin.

After the bone marrow transplant, my skin turned to paper. It is very sensitive to everything. It reacts with outbreaks of all kinds—it constantly peels, is depigmented, and has many scars.

How Cancer Changed my College Plans

I hit the jackpot of winning the medical diagnosis lottery right out of the gate. I was born with a condition that has involved many surgeries over the last 20 years.

I graduated high school in 2020. As a person with many medical conditions, this was an accomplishment. I was ready for college. I was accepted to multiple colleges and chose one close to home. I was ready.

The Switch: Going from Recreational to Medicinal

High! – I’m Kimber Harris. I am a Stage IIIA Invasive Ductal Carcinoma and Ductal Carcinoma in-situ survivor. I was diagnosed in December of 2019. I support adult recreational and medicinal cannabis use. I am a regular contributor to Elephants and Tea magazine and serve on the Patient Advisory Committee. I am an advocate for people and plant medicine.

Social Work is my Super Power

“So we looked at the results of the biopsy,” the nervous Physician’s Assistant kept shifting his weight back and forth and back and forth. He snapped his left glove a few times. “…and the results did indicate cancer…We don’t know how far along it is really, so we need some more tests…”

I laughed. Loudly. Right in his face. I was receiving the most devastating news of my entire life up until that point and I laughed.

Sexual (Dis)Function

It was 2012, and I was seated in business class expecting a mundane three hour flight to meet a client. My seat mate I will refer to as “Sally.” Sally was digging through her purse in a bit of a tizzy. Finally, she found her magic pills. Sally turned to me and said, “I can’t believe no one ever tells us what happens during menopause, I want to warn you of the terrible things it can do to you.”

The Life and Death of My Career

When I was 22, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. When I had first started attending college I really wanted to write, which is funny because in my 30s, it is now what I do. I kind of fell into hairdressing back then, but what I found in that decade-long career was the person I had always wanted to be. I was confident, I dressed how I wanted to dress, and I loved being behind the chair. 

Replacing Myself

“Everyone is replaceable, Dr. Shedd.”

She stares steadily at me in defiance from the back corner seat, arms folded across her chest. Her backpack in front of her remains zipped, contents tucked inside, while her classmates continue to file into the classroom. Her seat is between two immense windows in the back, and I glance beyond her to see the snow is picking up, flakes landing on the shoulders of the students trudging across campus to their various classes.