Patients

“Were You Late?”

I had been waiting in the white room for 45 minutes. I had left on time, gotten to the giant facility on time, and taken a full day off of work at a crucial time to make sure I was there. My oncologist is hard to get appointments with. That’s a huge understatement.

Cancer is a Lot of Things

Cancer is a lot of things. It can be a terrorist, ripping the visions of your future from your mind and replacing them with a plethora of fear. It can be a teacher of perspective, showing you gratitude for the simplicity and fragility of life, beckoning you to soak in the small moments with your loved ones because you’re never truly sure of how many you have left.

Dear Cancer, What Should I Say to You?

Dear Cancer,

What should I say to you?

Maybe I will start by complaining to you about all the tests, scans, appointments, needle pokes, surgeries, and medications I have endured because of you.

Dear Cancer, I Never Agreed to be With You

Dear Cancer,

May 1, 2022, will be our four-year anniversary. From day one, this “relationship” has only been one sided. I never agreed to be with you and for this to be a “‘till death do us part” commitment. I don’t even know how we became an “item.”

Dear Cancer, I Knew I Had to Survive

Dear Cancer, 

I hate you. You took more from me than you will ever know. There I was, newly married, thirty years old, running half marathons, when you decided to invade my body and life. I had been sick for nine months, vomiting every day and seeing doctor after doctor, and no one could figure out what was wrong with me.

Letting in the Light of Religion

The year was 2015. I was 29, about to turn 30, and had big plans for the future. I was finishing up my master’s degree in Jewish Education and Communal service, essentially nonprofit management in the Jewish world, and I was getting my ducks in a row to move to Israel.

The Little Things

The ultimate gift is time, but in an instant, it can feel as though time stops. The moment you’re told that you have cancer, your life changes, your perceptions of life change, and time stands still, as you know your life will be changed forever for better or worse. 

The Gift

In many instances, we either tell ourselves or so desperately want to believe everything happens for a reason. We usually associate that phrase when experiencing something negative or dreadful. The most common question we ask ourselves is “Why?”

The Botany of Breast Cancer Awareness Month

It’s a wonderful coincidence that elephants are my favorite animal. My elephants, my cancer, were lurking inside my private rooms. I’d been very reluctant to go public, to put a big reveal out into the world that I have breast cancer. I didn’t want to post an announcement online about my cancer.

The Overlook

Everything is so green. That’s what I remember thinking on the ride back to my apartment after my hospital stay. Being someone who enjoys spending time outside, two weeks of being stuck inside four white hospital room walls with a window overlooking a city street was pretty much torture, especially after a leukemia diagnosis.