Jen’s Corner
Meet Jennifer Anand. Jennifer provides tips on approaching life during and after cancer to help inspire others. Jennifer was diagnosis with Hodgkin’s lymphoma in January 2012, followed by chemotherapy and radiation treatments for 8 months. Jennifer is now a survivor and just celebrated her 5 year anniversary this year as cancer free!
There is No End to the Guilt
The guilt eats away at you. I’m coming up on 10 years post-transplant. I ask less now, “Why am I alive?” but feel more the guilt of my life. The guilt of having a job and friendships and being able to live even a somewhat normal life. The weight of the guilt is crushing.
I was at the Thanksgiving service where J shared the excitement that the cancer was in remission. She and her husband both kindly patted my shoulder on their way to speak at the front. But what was I to say? Congratulations?
Read More...The Weight of Surviving
I’m shaking. Scrunched in the middle seat of a plane. Somewhere over Canada, I think. Happily watching From Scratch as I drink my Iceland glacier water and eat my German hot dog pastry. I love these new Netflix shows. Women of color falling in love with European men. A dream of mine, really. And so cheerful to watch—till his knee hurts, and I’m wondering what surgery he will need.
Read More...Faith is a Feeling
It’s late at night, but I feel like writing. Throughout my day I’ve scrolled through The Cancer Patient Instagram stories. The topic has been primarily centered around religious people, and the stupid things they’ve said and the myriad of ways we’ve been hurt by them.
Read More...Cancer Follows Me Everywhere
I’m heading home after my first date in Boston. Normally my dating app M.O. has ten steps that include texting, phone calls, and other precautions before an in-person meeting. But something was different with this guy.
Read More...We’re All a Little Lost
It’s the holiday season, and Santa Claus is coming ‘round… so begin the lyrics to a very cheerful Christmas song, about Santa helping us celebrate the holidays. But sitting here, in a borrowed house because my family is quarantined due to breakthrough COVID and I can’t be with them, with sunlight streaming through the window onto the artificial hyacinth, I’m feeling anything but cheer.
Read More...It Never Ends
Life recently has been non-cancer focused, for once! I recently took a new position in my company, finally moved away from the hospital and city I was sick in and am generally doing healthy young adult things. Record scratching screeching stop.
Read More...Happily Ever After
Happily ever after. Driving off into the sunset, hair streaming in the wind, typically with the love of your life seated next to you. Sound familiar? I know it’s not true. But at every such cliché ending, I find a smile on my face.
Read More...COVID Reopening: Part 2
I just reread the article I wrote last May about reopening. Who knew it would be another 12 months before Ohio actually reopened? But the sentiments haven’t changed.
Read More...Triggered
I recently started dating the most incredible guy ever. From meeting me through friends several months ago, he knew I had cancer. Once we started dating, I tried to push him away by dumping all the cancer stuff, but he blessedly stayed.
Read More...Modesty
I lay next to another human, warm and comfortable and was filled with a wave of gratitude. Lovingly touched by someone who deeply cared for me. My heart felt like it would explode with happiness.
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