As a Survivor, I Felt Invisible.

I wanted people to see me as brave, but I saw myself as selfish, a coward, ungrateful for having survived when so many wouldn’t, and so self-absorbed and narcissistic with my pain. I saw photos and blog posts of other survivors who seemed to be doing so well. I compared myself to them and thought “I am doing this wrong. Maybe I didn’t deserve to survive this.” Then, I hated myself for thinking I didn’t deserve to beat cancer, because I had fought so hard to beat my disease, and because I did—and still do—love life, so, so passionately.